


A Chance at Survival and Love, A Court of Hope and Pain

by VirgoVaserra



Category: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: F/M, Rape Aftermath
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-19
Updated: 2018-04-24
Packaged: 2018-12-31 19:43:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,252
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12139722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VirgoVaserra/pseuds/VirgoVaserra
Summary: SPOILER WARNING for the second book! Acotar told in the POV of our favorite High Lord, Rhysand!





	1. A Chance at Survival and Love, A Court of Hope and Pain

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfic on archiveofourown but I have written some fanfiction! I hope you enjoy and please review :)

Less than a year. Less than a year until the Queen of all things evil will rule Prythian and I as her whore.

 

I had stopped feeling many emotions some time ago I realize as I stared at the crowd of Fae and newly made members of the Court Under the Mountain. I stand at the edge of the crowd close enough to be able to watch that bitch.

 

“Rhysand”, her cold voice cuts through the crowd. As I approach I near the snickers and hisses. Some pitiful part of me can't wait till I die.

 

I’ve stopped hoping, waiting many years ago.

 

Once I near the throne I see some lesser faerie kneeling and covered in cuts. I've learned to contain my shudder some time ago.  Amarantha gives me a sweet smile and commands, “Hold his mind while we give his punishment”. Being the submissive slave I am I do so.

 

I hear his pleads and fear as one of her wretched servants goes and takes out a long ash dagger.

 

He shrieks as it cuts through his flesh and despite his struggles I never loosen but mental claws.

  


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Later that night she calls me and gives me a smirk from her throne.  I immediately know what comes next, “Join me to my room” she says loudly enough that the room quiets. The only noise are the few jeers and laughs.

 

I give her a smirk, “Of course My Merry MidSummer”.

 

I walk toward the familiar hallway that now fills my nightmares. As we enter her room but body does not clench up.

 

No, I've gotten beyond my normal reaction.

 

Right as we get inside she roughly shoves me against the wall while locking the door.

 

No escape, just like her prisoners she wants me contained while she plays.

 

Her hands roam mirroring and as her teeth find a tender spot on my neck I can't keep a throaty moan from escaping. She bites so hard to the point of pain and she nearly draws blood but tonight she won't go that far.

 

I know because tonight I watched her and though she had someone tortured she isn't upset and as such won't take her anger out on her whore, right?

  


Taking out a dagger she rips down my tunic and once it's in shreds she pushes me to the bed.

 

“She won't hurt you tonight, she won't-”  All thoughts disappear when an ash dagger cuts right down my chest.

 

“Ugh”, I make a sound partly out of surprise and out of pain.

 

“Did you think we wouldn't be playing tonight little Rhysand?” she asks with a satisfied smirk. “Take my clothes off, whore.” I pause, composing myself. “Come now we don't have all night”, she says after a minute.

 

With one hand holding my bleeding chest, I pull myself and slowly unzip her all black lace dress. Once it drops to the floor I make my eyes roam over her naked form.

 

Some small old part of my self wants to gag but I'm used to my tightly fitted mask. She slowly, tenderly kisses my lips and then...SLAM!

 

I find myself against a wall, her hands pinning me as she releases her tension and anger onto me.

  


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Later that night I find myself laying next to her naked,sleeping form.

 

I can't decide if I want to face my dreams or spend another sleepless night laying here. The dreaming High Lord part of me might have consciously thought about the wind, how it felt on my face. But as Amarantha shifts, I squeeze my eyes until I'm sure she's sleeping.

  


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Beautiful, blurred hands are carefully painting flowers on a table. I don't know who they belong to but they are peaceful and calm.

 

The snowy woods, a quiet forest. It’s almost calming, I almost forget where I am...

 

I wake with a start.

 

I was dreaming...not of Amarantha or some wretched memory but of hands painting on a table and a calm forest.

 

I want to hug the girl, I don't know who she is but I want to thank her for that small gift. As I stare into the dark and for a moment I hope about the possibility of being free, just for a moment but nonetheless that moment is the best of had in awhile.

 

I breath in and out. “Thank you”, I whisper into the darkness and hope that gorgeous painter is happy.


	2. Dreams Become Truth, A Court of Hope and Pain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Yummy yummy treat tonight, humans are always the best”
> 
> I halt in my tracks and winnow straight to the inhuman picts. As soon as I come into view their expressions change from evil delight to fear...no terror, but as soon as I see... her all thoughts flee my mind. 
> 
> I start talking before i know what i'm saying 
> 
> “There you are. I've been looking for you”.   
> I easily slip an arm around her trying to get, in any way, closer. 
> 
> “Thank you for finding her for me,” I watch with cruel delight as the stupid picts pale 
> 
> “Enjoy the Rite” they quickly slither back to the crowd. I remind myself to find them later. 
> 
> She smoothly steps out of my arms to my disappointment but then…
> 
> The most beautiful man I'd ever seen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please Comment and enjoy!

_ “What is your name?” she keeps asking.  _

 

_ Though as I try to answer she’d scrape her fingernails down my throat preventing e from speaking. I looked for an escape but The Bogge, Naga and Suriel were there waiting to devour me.  _

 

I jolted awake, panting I didn't know what had happened. 

 

That wasn't one of my nightmares but it wasn't foggy like the girl's dreams. I then realized two thing, one the fog had been the wall and that now you were in Prythian. 

 

I layed there in the dark, wondering what time it was and when Amarantha would wake. 

 

I didn't how long I was lying there sorting through those glimpses of her dreams. Summer? Spring? Where on earth where you and why was a human on the other side of the wall, I wonder again and again.

  
  


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“You have spent time in the forest, hunting more then likely. You also paint, so why in cauldrons name are you in Prythian?” I stand only partly paying attention to the haunting music and faeries talking and dancing. 

 

Pulling my attention from the dreams I look up at a little dark-haired High Fae smiling at me.

 

“High Lord?”

 

I give her my best smirk and slowly beckon her to my lap. The off kilter music serve as a soundtrack as she giggles on my lap. 

 

That night I find myself in my “room” if that's what you'd call it, despite the fact I normally don't ever sleep in there or spend much time period.

 

I decide to try and sleep if only for a few hours and many escape this Hell. 

 

_ Bonfires, ribbons and food tables all being set up outside.  _

 

I snap awake. There is only one court that celebrates Fire Night that profoundly...Summer Court. I quickly throw on my normally black-blue tunic and my mask I waltzed out of my room to find my “Queen”. 

 

Walking through familiar hallways I find myself in the throne room and to my surprise she's not sitting on the throne. 

 

“Where in the name of Cauldron could she of gone?” I curse to myself. 

 

Looking around I set my stroll trying not to look to rushed. I later find myself in her powder room

 

“Finally” I think to myself. 

 

“What do you want Rhysand? And why on earth are you interrupting me?” she snaps at me

“Well she's unhinged,” I think to myself with a smirk. 

 

“Why my Queen with only a few week until you gain Tamlin court and crown, I thought it might be nice to make sure he's to planning anything. Just to make sure there are no traitors?” 

 

I hope she believes my idea. She gives me a cruel, but slightly on edge, smile, “That's a wonderous idea! Why I believe you should go there later”. 

 

Rising from her vanity she crosses the room to my side in a simple stride. 

 

“For that amazing idea I believe you should get a reward, High Lord,” she says with a smile that could of sent armies running. 

  
  


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“Damn that evil witch, she kept me occupied so long I need to winnow straight there and judging by the time it's already night. I'll need to taster the skies another day,” I think to myself with gritted teeth. 

 

Wind and shadows as I winnowed into my second most hated court if you could count that wretched mountain a court, that is. 

 

I look around silently beckoning the girl to me. 

 

“Go, go see”

 

Hoping I will stumble across her. 

 

As I walk through the edges of the crowd and forest I keep alert while surveying the open minds of the summer court-lings, most of the thoughts are gross

 

_ Hope he picks me”  _

 

_ “So cute I can't wait to taste her”  _

 

_ “Yummy yummy treat tonight, humans are always the best” _

 

I halt in my tracks and winnow straight to the inhuman picts. As soon as I come into view their expressions change from evil delight to fear...no terror, but as soon as I see...  _ her  _ all thoughts flee my mind. 

 

I start talking before i know what i'm saying 

 

“There you are. I've been looking for you”. 

I easily slip an arm around her trying to get, in any way, closer. 

 

“Thank you for finding her for me,” I watch with cruel delight as the stupid picts pale 

 

“Enjoy the Rite” they quickly slither back to the crowd. I remind myself to find them later. 

 

She smoothly steps out of my arms to my disappointment but then…

 

_ The most beautiful man id ever seen _

 

“Of course I am”, I think to myself with a smirk. 

 

“What is a mortal woman doing here on Fire Night”, I say with a smile my mask finally slipping into place. 

 

As she takes a step back she lies, “My friends brought me.”

 

She's bold for lying but not afraid. 

 

“And who are your friends?” I ask anything to spend more time with this beautiful, fragile human girl. Again she lies. 

 

“Two ladies” 

 

“Their names?”

 

She keeps quiet this time, smart thing. I chuckle and say with ease, “You're welcome. For saving you.” 

 

I hate acting this way around her but I don't want to know or suspect why. I know I should leave but again I say, “Strange for a mortal to be friends with two faeries” as I start to circle her like the predator I am. 

 

“Aren't human usually terrified of us?” I muse “And aren't you,for that matter, supposed to keep to your side of the wall?” 

 

Though she wasn't afraid her heartbeat quicken but the second. 

 

“I've known them my whole life. I've never had anything to fear from them.” 

 

“And yet they brought you to the Great Rite and abandoned you,” I counter. 

 

“They went to get refreshments.” 

 

“I'm afraid the refreshment are a long ways off. It might be awhile before they return. May I escort you somewhere in the meantime?” 

 

I offer her my hand despite knowing she'll refuse. 

 

“No” 

 

Worth a try. 

 

“Enjoy the Rite, then. Try to stay out of trouble” and I mean it. Knowing I must leave even though it breaks my heart, I turn to leave. 

 

“So you're not part of the Spring Court?” 

 

Looks like she doesn't want to get rid of me either, I face her while shining my favorite lazy grin, “Do I look like I'm part of the Spring Court?” I laugh under my breath “No, I'm not part of the noble Spring Court. And glad of it.” 

 

No I’d never want to be not after my parents… 

 

“Why are you here, then” 

 

She is smart and can't seem to decide if she wants me gone or not. So I give her a response more truthful then I'd like. 

 

“Because all the monster have been let out of there cages tonight, no matter what court they belong to. So I may roam wherever I wish until dawn.” 

 

I give her a cruel smile to finish complete the charade. 

 

“Enjoy the Rite,” she murmurs and even though she leaving I hold on the those wonderful moments with the dream girl. 

 

Once she's far enough away and her thoughts have fled my mind I remember, I have those bastard picts to find. 

 

I enjoy far too much hunting them down and shoving them in front of Amarantha as she carves them into pieces all the while they shriek.


	3. Chapter 3-Screaming Head

Amarantha was insane. 

But I already knew that as I watched, both through his mind and my eyes, as she tortured him. I didn't even know the male or what court he was from.

But as I held his mind I quickly found out all the answers.

He was a high fae male named Aedan from the Dawn Court. All of his, Aedan's, family had been killed. Aedan's wife, Maoria, and his only son, Alroy, had fled while he had stayed to fight...foolish, rash decision.

I tried as best I could to take the pain away, but when Amarantha had turned to me with knife out I knew the next words out of her mouth would dramatically change the situation,

"For some more fun and a reward for bringing me those traitors on Fire Night."

I gave her a smirk but inside I knew it was some punishment, some cruel twisted punishment for being allowed outside even for an hour.

With one look at her bloodthirsty face I knew she wanted him to scream so I made him. All the while part of me wondered how I'd ever become such a monster.

To finish off the act with a simple flick of my hand I branded him with our, my sigil. A mountain with three stars and a permanent reminder of how far I'd gone, wrecked myself.

"Take him to our dear Tamlin and leave his head there as a present...no, put it on the statue. Lets remind them how little time they have left," she orders with a smile, all the while her eyes are glazed as if imagining their expression when they find the "gift".

I simply give her a smirk, grab the weak tortured man and winnow.

With half a thought I shatter the shield, it's weaker than normal, and carefully, quietly walk in.

"Sorry"

I whisper so quietly it might have well of been in my mind and rip Aedon's head clean off.

At least he'll be with his family, part of me envies him for that...

Skewering the head on the first statue I see, a great heron, I winnow away as if I'd never been there.

As soon as I get back I go straight to my rooms and hurl my guts up, not being able to rid the tortured man from my mind.

And I can't prevent myself from knowing that this would have pleased her...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wont waste your time. Imma post all my chapters at the same time and hopefully write some anime fanfiction and finish this story. Please I live for reviews and kudos!!


	4. Chapter 4-Children and the Cold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Winter Court children meet Amarantha. Children dont survive.

As I walked into the throne room I noted the air of stillness which could only mean one thing...something big had happened. With ease I broke into a few of the courtiers minds.

I wonder who she'll punishment for the rebellion.

Who had rebelled? Who could have been that insane and with only a few more months until the End.

"Where is Amarantha," I kept thinking.

And as if she'd heard my question out she walked, clad in a glittery black dress that hugged her smooth figure. I might have thought she was sexy were it not from that demonic smile she always wore and the fact that this bitch might very well be ruling Prythian by the Winter Solstice.

"As some of you may of heard Winter has rebelled. And to remind them who holds their leash I shall kill their High Lord."

Gods, oh gods.

Kallias and I had never been on great terms but I didn't want him dead, who knew what young and untried ruler might replace him. I had to convince her...

Somehow

Everyone else had about the same reaction as me, shock. While there were some pricks like the Vanserra brothers who were smirking with cruel delight.

Amarantha gives us all a small, too sweet smile as she dismissed us.

"Everyone enjoy the party"

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"He's not worth it my Queen. I mean can you imagine what young, silly high fae will replace him."

She carefully looks me up and down, thinking, assessing. I keep my posture neutral, not a stitch of clothing out of place.

"Very well, Rhysand, I do suppose that it will cause more trouble than it's worth to just off Kallias."

Thanks the Cauldron, one crisis averted, though all of my thoughts flee my head as she gives me her trademark bitchy smile.

Faster than I can catalogue her elongated canines find my neck and bite down, hard. I let out a sound somewhere the cross of a moan and a yelp, though it seemed to please Amarantha nonetheless. As she bites down harder I try to keep as still as I came without inflicted myself more pain than necessary.

As Amarantha pushes me to the bed I except the knife, it's nothing new, but what I don't accept is when she knocks me out in one small flick of her wrist.

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I jolt awake to find the face of Amarantha smirking at me...and my hands bound behind me.

The surprise must of shown on my face because she cooed.

"I have a little present for you my faithful whore. You see because you convinced me to not off our cold friend Kallias, I choose to punishment him in others ways." she gives me a cruel smile, "Why don't you take a look?"

I decide to follow orders and quickly look over the minds of her beloved court. My insides turn upside down as I find out exactly what punishment she means...they are going to kill the children. And not just one-oh no, they're going to kill two dozen.

I quickly broke into the monsters minds and as I was about to stop them, I was met with a wall.

They had...no way, they had daemati. Which could only mean one thing she wanted me to watch, watch as they murdered these children.

"Enjoy the show"

I hear Amarantha's voice all the while trapped in the mind of one of her creatures.

I can do nothing, nothing as they hold their minds and torture, no torture gracious term of what they do to them. I'm so damned helpless as I can't do anything even when I try to take their pain away or anything to help them. I can't save them...just like Morgan, or my family.

Why can I never safe anyone…

"These pathetic kids think they can stand up to us. Oh look, are you trying to protect her? Pathetic!"

I can do nothing as they break their bones and finally murder them. Once I'm finally released from their mind, I find myself still chained in front of Amarantha. And that cruel bitch had the nerve to sit there smiling.

"Watching them suffer was just so delightful, don't you agree Rhysand?"

Proving just how much of a monster I am, I smile and reply:

"I only wish I'd been there to help, My Gracious Queen."

She gives me a smirk and I can only hope she didn't scent the weak lie right off my tongue.

"Maybe next time I'll let you go play...if you deserve it, that it."

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I seek haven in the only place I can, my room, not that I'm doing anything but...I need quiet, even for only a moment. Something to null the unending field on icy pain that fills my chest.

Trying to empty my mind of the memories I think of the dream girl and wonder: let myself wonder what exactly shed think of me, of this.

She'd probably think me a monster, some faerie the humans tell stories about: who grab younglings from their beds and delight in raising hell of all types...the latter might not be to far off, depending on who you ask…

"High Lord?" a crooning voice calls out, I snap my head to the door frame to find the Attor smirking at me.

Damn, I was so absorbed into my own world I didn't notice that demon spawn creep up to my door.

"Because"

He drawled, loving the fact hed caught me off guard,"you seemed to not hear me the first time. Amarantha is wondering why your not in the throne room with the other court trash."

"Well, I thought I would spend a few hours up here...better than looking at that thing you call a face."

Earning a glare I keep going.

"Though if my Queen wants me I shall be at her beck and call."

"Good. I'd except nothing less from her loyal whore," he jeers and quietly flying out.

Stupid, bastard monster...at this point I can't decide if I'm talking about myself or that thing.

Once I find myself in the cavern they call a throne room, I'm immediately swarmed with people. People who think...think I killed those children, oh gods.

"Did they suffer? I heard they did, I only wish I'd been able to help. Never pictured you the type whore," says one of those asshole Vanserra brothers, while the others give me approving looks.

I want to disappear, anything to avoid this god-awful I look up to find Amarantha beckoning me with a finger, as if I'm a dog to be summoned.

But I walk up to her dais nonetheless.

"Why don't you give our favorite Lord of Spring a visit, since the Attor made no progress…"

I use this moment to give take revenge, I cock my head giving him a smirk.

Oh if looks could kill...

"I want to know what he's doing and how far into misery he's fallen… Understand?"

"Of course, it would be my honor."

Well off to Tamlin it seems, oh joy… How could this week get any worse, though I'm sure that bitch will find a way...she always does.


	5. Court of Roses and Surprise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rhysand crashes the party!

Wind and darkness enveloped me just as I was greeted by the quiet, calm forests of Spring as well as the ever flower-covered garden and manor. Just as I arrived it seemed as though the forest, the very Spring Court stilled at such a powerful being in their midst. I couldn't help smirk at the thought as I slowly opened the rose covered gates and took in the grounds.

Nothing had changed in the ever boring Spring Court, I doubted it's inhabits had changed much either. I also didn't doubt Tamlin knew I was here so I didn't even bother to mask my footsteps as I enter the manor.

While I strolled I noticed how the normally bustling manor was empty, barren even, as if they'd all escaped after sensing my arrival.

Pathetic…

Maneuvering this place didn't require half a thought, seeing as I'd been there more times than I deigned to remember. Entering the familiar dining room I took in Tamlin sitting at the table and Lucien being the ever faithful lapdog, but who was I to judge, monitoring by the window, I smirk.

"High Lord," I crooned at Tamlin giving him a little dip of the head, the most acknowledgment I'd ever give this bastard.

"What do you want Rhysand?" Tamlin asks, voice laced with a promise of pain.

I ignore the threat as I place a hand on my chest and give him a mocking smile.

"Rhysand? Come now, Tamlin. I don't see you for forty-nine years, and you start calling me Rhysand? Only my prisoners and my enemies call me that," I respond all the while giving him a cruel expression before turning to Lucien, "A fox mask. Appropriate for you, Lucien."

"Go to Hell, Rhys," apparently Lucien won't bother with fake pleasantries…

I look him over once before dismissing him to turn back to Tamlin, "Always a pleasure dealing with the rabble. I hope I wasn't interrupting."

"We were just in the middle of lunch," Tamlin grits out.

"Simulating," I purr back.

"What are you doing here, Rhys?" Tamlin demands, still somehow controlling his anger…

"I wanted to check up on you. I wanted to see how you were faring. If you got my little present."

"Your present was unnecessary," Tamlin only says.

"But a nice reminder of the fun days, wasn't it?" before you murdered my mother and sister, and we both became High Lords. I clicked my tongue and survey the room.

"Almost half a century holed up in a country estate. I don't know how you managed it. But you're such a stubborn bastard that this must have seemed like a paradise compared to Under the Mountain. I suppose it is. I'm surprised, though: forty-nine years, and no attempts to save yourself or your lands. Even now that things are getting interesting again," I croon, seeing if he'll take the bait.

"There's nothing to be done," he simply concedes, his voice low.

I approached Tamlin, changing my voice to a soft whisper, "What a pity that you must endure the brunt of it, Tamlin—and an even greater pity that you're so resigned to your fate. You might be stubborn, but this is pathetic. How different the High Lord is from the brutal war-band leader of centuries ago."

Before Tamlin loses his temper Lucien interrupts, "What do you know about anything? You're just Amarantha's whore." The words have lost their effect long ago but that doesn't stop people from saying it.

"Her whore I might be, but not without my reasons," I bite out, my voice a sharp edge compared to the smooth drawling of early, no they have no reason to question me. Not when they are here eating fancy food in a rose-covered candyland. I tell him as much, "At least I haven't bided my time among the hedges and flowers while the world has gone to Hell."

I don't fail to note Lucien's sword rising slightly, "If you think that's all I've been doing, you'll soon learn otherwise." I ignore the comment.

"Little Lucien. You certainly gave them something to talk about when you switched to Spring. Such a sad thing, to see your lovely mother in perpetual mourning over losing you." And just as I guessed Lucien points his sword at me.

"Watch your filthy mouth."

I give him laugh—a lover's laugh, low and soft and intimate.

"Is that any way to speak to a High Lord of Prythian?"

"Come now, Tamlin," I taunt. "Shouldn't you reprimand your lackey for speaking to me like that?"

"I don't enforce rank in my court," Tamlin says.

"Still?" I asked crossing my arms. "But it's so entertaining when they grovel. I suppose your father never bothered to show you."

"This isn't the Night Court," Lucien hisses. "And you have no power here—so clear out. Amarantha's bed is growing cold." This time his remark finds its mark. I snickered, but then I'm upon Lucien, too fast for him to even blink, growling in his face.

"I was slaughtering on the battlefield before you were even born," I snarl. I can't help notice how Lucien's scent seems different… Then, as quickly as I'd had come, I withdraw, casual and careless, as if nothing had happened, as if he hadn't just insulted me and mine.

"Besides," I say, stuffing my hands into my pockets, "who do you think taught your beloved Tamlin the finer aspects of swords and females? You can't truly believe he learned everything in his father's little war-camps."

And though it's true Tamlin rubs his temples.

"Save it for another time, Rhys. You'll see me soon enough." Turning I start to meandered toward the door. "She's already preparing for you. Given your current state, I think I can safely report that you've already been broken and will reconsider her offer."

I begin to pass the table Lucien's breath hitches. I dismiss the notion as I run a finger along the back of my chair—a casual gesture.

"I'm looking forward to seeing your face when you—" I stop suddenly, noting the added chair despite their only being Tamlin and Lucien. The table was still set for three, a half-eaten plate of food sitting right before me.

"Where's your guest?" I ask, lifting the guess's goblet and sniffing it-I know that scent… but can't quite place from where.

"I sent them off when I sensed your arrival," Tamlin says coolly. I faced the High Lord, my face void of emotion, brows lifted.

Wait, no that can't be right. Could that really be-be hers?

I then realize whipping my head to Lucien.

"You dare glamour me?" I growl, absolutely livid my violet eyes burning as I find myself staring straight into her blue-gray eyes. Lucien just presses harder into the wall. Tamlin's chair groans as it's shoved back. He is now standing, claws at the ready. I smooth my face into a mask of calm fury as we stare at each other.

"I remember you," I purr. "It seems like you ignored my warning to stay out of trouble." No, she did near the opposite, dining with him? I then turn back to Tamlin, needing answers.

"Who, pray tell, is your guest?"

"My betrothed," Lucien answered.

Lie, plain obvious lie, "Oh? Here I was, thinking you still mourned your commoner lover after all these centuries."

I begin to stalk toward her, not of my own accord but needing to claim the distance between us. Only to be blocked by Lucien and his sword between us. My venom-coated grin only grows, "You draw blood from me, Lucien, and you'll learn how quickly Amarantha's whore can make the entire Autumn Court bleed. Especially it's darling Lady." The color leached from Lucien's face, but he holds his ground...surprising. It was Tamlin who answers.

"Put your sword down, Lucien."

"I knew you liked to stoop low with your lovers, Lucien, but I never thought you'd actually dabble with mortal trash," I gloat watching my mate's face turn crimson...as much as I hate myself for it.

Beside me Lucien was trembling—with rage or fear or sorrow, I couldn't tell.

"The Lady of the Autumn Court will be grieved indeed when she hears of her youngest son. If I were you, I'd keep your new pet well away from your father."

"Leave, Rhys," Tamlin commands, now standing a few feet behind me. And yet he didn't make a move to attack, despite the claws, so I keep approaching knowing he won't risk a battle he will surely win. I ignore the angry Tamlin and brush Lucien aside as if he were a curtain.


	6. Court of Disappointment

There was nothing between us now, and as I stared at the girl I'd been dreaming of I felt a sense of happiness, something I hadn't felt in a very, very long time. I carefully undo her soft hands, the same ones from my dream, off the knife frozen in her hands. In a smooth motion I toss it across the gleaming marble flooring so at odds then the mountain I had gotten used to.

"That won't do you any good, anyway," I tell her simply and then I give her some advice, remembering to play Her Whore. "If you were wise, you would be screaming and running from this place, from these people. It's a wonder that you're still here, actually."

Her beautiful face creases in confusion at my comment as I suddenly put two and two together I laugh out loud, a cruel sound.

"Oh, she doesn't know, does she?"

"You have seconds, Rhys. Seconds to get out," Tamlin "warns" me as she trembles in terror, I can't help feel a sense of despair but it was to be expected.

"If I were you," I remind him in a quiet voice. "I wouldn't speak to me like that".

And just to enforce their fear I reach across the threshhold of my-no the human girl's mind as, easy as if I was walking, I sink my talons into her mind. The thoughts are flimsy and unformed but I cherish each one I let myself look through. I send a spark of my reduced power into her mind and body controlling every fiber of her being and drop of her blood.

She stands there shaking like a leaf unable to move a muscle and wanting to vanish from my grasp…I hate myself more then I have in a while. But I hate Tamlin even more, he doesn't move to protect her or stop me, he just stands bristling in place.

"Let her go."

A kind of panic had entered his eyes, as he glanced between us. As if I would ever hurt someone like her!

I'm not the monster, you are, I want to scream at him but settle with a smirk.

Tamlin struggles, grasping at straws for his control, "Enough."

"I'd forgotten that human minds are as easy to shatter as eggshells," I had truly forgotten since it had been forever since I had met one. I admire the silkiness of her skin as I run a pale finger up and down the base of her throat. I note how she shudders at my touch, how her eyes become blurry and wet...

"Look at how delightful she is—look how she's trying not to cry out in terror. It would be quick, I promise," I tell her, wanting to beg for her forgiveness but I can't. Anyway I am long, long past the point of any forgiveness to equal my plethora of sin.

"She has the most delicious thoughts about you, Tamlin," I find myself chuckling as my talons want to unleash themselves at the fact that this wonderful human girl finds the Faerie Prince of Spring adoring is abhorrent even to me, "She's wondered about the feeling of your fingers on her thighs—between them, too."

Her rosy cheeks turn rosier still as I spill her most private thoughts.

I turn quickly to Tamlin, "I'm curious: Why did she wonder if it would feel good to have you bite her breast the way you bit her neck?"

"Let. Her. Go," Tamlin simply replies but that is answer enough for me…

Oh gods he had done it, the princeling had fallen in love with a human girl, my human girl.

"If it's any consolation," I confided to him, "she would have been the one for you—and you might have gotten away with it. A bit late, though. She's more stubborn than you are."

I let myself one more look into her mind before unhinging my shadow claws. She sinks to the floor in an instance and curls into a ball, knees on her chest as if I had just tortured her.

You have, a voice inside my head whispers sounding eerily like Amarantha.

"Amarantha will enjoy breaking her." And I hate that fact most of all because of it's sound honesty. "Almost as much as she'll enjoy watching you as she shatters her bit by bit," the part I leave out is the fact I might just take a sliver of satisfaction from that end part as well.

"Please," Tamlin begs, hands and claws limp at his side. I quickly sense my opportunity and snatch it, how I'll make him grovel.

"Please what?" I ask—gently, coaxingly. Like a lover.

Like Amarantha, the voice hisses again.

"Don't tell Amarantha about her," Tamlin begs, his voice strained and hollow.

"And why not? As her whore, I should tell her everything," I reason, glancing Lucien.

"Please," Tamlin manages, as if it were difficult to breathe, pathetic. I simply point at to ground, my smile becoming vicious.

"Beg, and I'll consider not telling Amarantha." And the obedient little dog he is Tamlin drops to his knees and bows his head.

"Lower." And lower Tamlin goes, how I will make him beg for taking my mother and sister from me. Tamlin presses his forehead to the floor, his hands sliding along the floor toward my black boots.

I then turn, pointing to Lucien,"You too, fox-boy." His face was near wrath incarnate but he lowered himself to his knees, then touched his head to the ground.

I then find myself wallowing in the moment before stopping to ponder, "Are you doing this for your sake, or for hers?" As no answer is given I shrug then I hear my-the human girl's thoughts again active.

As if he weren't forcing a High Lord of Prythian to grovel, she thinks mentally cursing me and seeking for her lost knife.

"You're far too desperate, Tamlin. It's off-putting. Becoming High Lord made you so boring."

Without moving his head he simply asks, "Are you going to tell Amarantha?"

Refusing to give him a proper answer I smirk, "Perhaps I'll tell her, perhaps I won't." In a flash of motion, someone lacking a full High Lord's speed and strength, Tamlin was on his feet, fangs a hair inch close to my face.

"None of that," I remind him, clicking my tongue and using one hand to push him away from his up close position. "Not with a lady present."

Then I give myself a last leap of faith, a shot at something more, "What's your name, love?"

I know she won't answer, to answer would be suicide for her family and anyone else she cares about. But she does something particularly cunning, I sense her mind going blank and then-

"Clare Beddor."

Her voice was nothing more then a gasp but I heard it clear as a bell, though I know she lied at least she gave me a name, something to give Amarantha, as I turn back to Tamlin, still unnervingly close I conclude my visit.

"Well, this was entertaining. The most fun I've had in ages, actually." Truth, "I'm looking forward to seeing you three Under the Mountain. I'll give Amarantha your regards."

I then return the land of wind and shadow as I'm greeted by the dim lit cavernous Under the Mountain ballroom. Well I guess it is back to Hell, but as I walk through the crowded room, people breaking a path for me, I wonder if I ever really left.


	7. All Hope is Lost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The title of this chapter is both for my story and for myself writing this story...   
> Enjoy

Four hours, fifty-two minutes, and twenty-three seconds until we, Amarantha and I, are going to overtake the Spring Court. I don't know why I was counting down the minutes, but it was a better alternative than facing sleep. I am almost guaranteed a nightmare. At this point I could only hope-No, it was past the point of hope. It would be a silly, dangerous thing to hope, to think maybe I could still escape. I was counting on the fact that the human girl, our possible savior, had fled to the human realm.

As I lay next to Amarantha's unmoving sleeping figure, I listen to her steady breathing and try to forget the past few hours. Despite my best intentions, the memory is still crystal clear in my mind.

"Dearest Rhysand," Amarantha purred, dragging her fingernails up and down my chest, the sharp tips nearly drawing blood.

I swallow the bile threatening to rise up and force a wicked grin to appear on my face. This is my "reward" for giving Amarantha that girl's name. Of course, I fail to mention that the girl had clearly been lying and that her name was not Clare Beddor.

Amarantha pulls my face to hers, her tongue forcing itself into my mouth, her scent filling my nose and mouth makes me want to gag. Or better yet, curl up and die.

I can't die, I must stay alive for them. My family. I force myself back to reality, but memories of curly blonde hair and leathery wings stay in my mind. A soft smile rises to my mouth when scarlet hair shifts in my vision reminding me of what I've done to protect them, what they would think of me. Whore. Monster. Cruel. Closing my eyes I try to find some calm before the storm.

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I saunter into the Spring Court, but this time I'm not alone. Swarms of grotesque creatures follow me. Some with wings like the Attor, some on their claws, crawling with teeth bared. For this occasion, a cruel smile is painted on my face, but my senses are on high alert. Something, or someone, is missing. Gods, I hope that piece of filth wised up and sent my-her away.

Hands in my pockets, I stroll into the manor, my magic shattering the windows for effect. Honestly, I can't say I'm surprised when I find Tamlin and Lucien sitting at the ornate dining table, not like Tamlin to do much. Lucien is pointedly looking away from Tamlin, while Tamlin only stares blankly at me.

"Her Majesty wishes your presence Under the Mountain. Your time has run out Tamlin," I drawl, gesturing at the door.

Fox boy pales when Tamlin simply stands up, no anger or claws, and walks towards the door. When the Lord of Spring realizes that Lucien isn't following he turns back.

"Come on Lucien."

But Lucien only shakes his head, red hair swishing.

"Now, Little Lucien, didn't you hear? Tamlin has accepted his fate. Now either join him or join the rabble in the cells. Either way your coming, Under the Mountain." Lucien bares his teeth in a silent growl and trudges after Tamlin, staring daggers at me. I only give them both a polished grin before strolling out. Poor little Lucien's face goes sheet white when he sees the swarms of creatures outside.

"Round up any others, dead or alive, I couldn't care less."

The bastards give me feral grins and saunter into the house. I hear the sounds of screams, glass shattering, and wood snapping as I grab Tamlin and Lucien and disappear into the wind.

When the roaring wind and darkness finally clears I'm greeted by the familiar throne room and Amarantha grinning like a cat. I hear an equal amount of gasps, crying, and hoots as I appear with the High Lord of Spring. These fools thought he'd be their savior, their last hope. Hah! Well, it was time they face their cruel reality.

"Dear Tamlin, come join me. Your throne awaits you," Amarantha purrs, patting the stone throne adjacent from her. Of course, the bastard only walks over and sits, face void of emotion, not even flinching as Amarantha places a possessive hand on his knee.

Well, I wouldn't want to switch with the bastard, but I don't pity him either. I turn and stroll into the crowd, only to be greeted by the red-haired Eris and his brothers.

"Congrats and thank you for returning our brother to us," Eris drawls, while the others exchange nods of confirmation.

I see blinding red for a moment as I remember what that gods-forsaken piece of filth did to my cousin before I calm enough to respond, "My pleasure Eris. Just don't ruin him beyond repair, Amarantha won't be happy if you kill one of her playthings."

I stroll away, as I see them grit their teeth at my threat. When they think I'm out of earshot I hear one of the younger brother mutter, "Don't expect much else from a whore." The others snicker in agreement. Whore. That is what I'll be for the rest of eternity, at least until Amarantha tires of me. I'm about to head into the dark hallway when I hear Amarantha's sing song voice.

"Tamlin, I have someone for you to see."

Silence fills the rock throne room when I hear screaming. Female screaming. I spin on lightning-quick feet. They couldn't have found her-my dream girl-Amarantha didn't know her name. I see a flash of golden-brown hair and fear for the worst.

"What's your name?" the red-haired bitch demands.

"Cl-l-lair Be-d-d-dor-r," the human girl sobs.

Gods! I didn't think it was a real person. The golden-brown haired human girl looks like my dream girl but definitely isn't.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry it's short, but I swear the next chapters will have more words! Please comment and give me feedback :)


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